2005 - a year I can never forget!!!!

.........2006 - a year I hope will be more joyful and prosperous for everyone!!! This year has been full of ups and downs....disappointments, happiness, expectations, dilemmas and personally, this year wasnt really my year at all... But for the fact that "ALLAH DEY!" I am glad that I have been able to breeze through it all, and to those lives that was lost and forgotten, may their soul rest in perfect peace(amen). Life, they say, is not a bed of roses. I cant expect things to be good and everything to be perfect but then, I had expectations, some of them failed and some excelled.... what will be will be, no matter how much you planned it... if it is fated to turn out right, it will, no regrets, no qualms, no premonitions... just fated..simple!

Natural disasters and wars that are not meant to be fought... accidents and national deaths.... 2005 seems to be overflowing with it... I pray 2006 will be a happier year for everyone of us....
On a happy note.... I began to actively blog this year and I made some positive changes in my life.... and I felt better about who I am...people will always be the same, you dont have to bend backwards to satisfy everyone, just do the right thing at the right time...
I know I am sounding too boring...thanx but when you are blogging about some serious happenings around you... you cant joke about it unless you are a pro in jokes...i am not !!!...so , you have to take this blog the way it is...
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE....

~fatima~

Friendships are Golden

I never thought that resuming after five weeks of holiday will make me feel happier, because I was feeling down and bored of watching too much teevee. But today, my whole day has been wonderful, and no thanks to the downpour of rain in the afternoon, I feel just great. Sometimes, you wake up at the right side of the bed wishing yourself a nice day but end up feeling worse off anyways. However, it was cool, having lunch with my friend after a long time and having some crazy chat with a group of friends for dinner... hmm... thats what i really loved... it really made my day and helped me to improve my sense of humor...kinda lolz...

I usually feel that human beings sometimes take things for granted... I for one do take things for granted. When I was on holiday, fasting and doing absolutely nothing except help my mum or watch tv(CSI WHATELSE!!!), I seldom bother to contact my friends back in campus because to me, they are "campus friends" and nothing more. Alas, I was totally wrong, a friend is a friend is a friend indeed and in need always... never underestimate the power of friendship... its more powerful than love, whenever you are happy, they make you laugh and whenever you are down they cheer you up... except for friends that pretend that they are your friends... never mind them.. they aint worth a thang! Friends are always there for you.... but I think friendship is not something we should dismiss take for granted... yeah we do have virtual friends but they cant be like the ones you see everyday and face to face... you know.. you can chat all day long but at the end of the you log out and case closed, but your face-to-face friend will hang out with you and you can talk about anything( trust me, I get bored after sometime!) under the sun and the moon till dawn if you permit her(or him) to be with you. Well.... thats what friends are for..... to my old paddies, Biola, Tayo Jemz, Bonzo Ige, Jossie, Ejiks "Majic" Okoye, Ibukun Amoo,Sezuo Tenuche, Folly Ogunshakin and lotsa more... we had such a wonderful time, and Hopefully, when I visit Naija once more... we go jam together.... Te Qiero!!!
peace & love....

Love thy Neighbor...........Are you African enough?

Recently I have been feeling out of place , itching to go back to my home country, eat, drink and sleep with people of my kind, talk without feeling like a foreigner...but many people will tell me that they would rather not stay in their own country because, the government is bad, nothing to write home about and they are living in pure, undiluted poverty. Hmm...truth be said, I think they are right, because if Nigerians can migrate to South Africa and beg the South African government for a change of citizenship then what do will call it? I mean, no offence of South Africans, but I dont know why Africans will always be Africans, why do we make our people suffer at the expense of others... When I heard the late Stella Obasanjo died from a cosmetic surgery, I felt surprised but initially was aghast... I dont know what kind of surgery a 60-year old woman will want except you are a hollywood celebrity which of cause she wasnt and Nigerians can barely eat thrice daily ...what is this? I think we are just kidding ourselves on the fact that Africa will be better...maybe it wont...am I pessimist? no, but I just cant figure it out when we suffer infront of the whole world to see... For example, I am a student in Malaysia, recently, they are talking about making foreigners to pay more than the locals just because we dont contribute to their economy...yeah right? How can someone ever think foreigners dont contribute to their economy, I pay for everything that they expect me to, except that I am not working, so, I dont buy petrol which they have realised that they have to remove the subsidised oil prices and allow the non-Malaysians to pay more, also the hospital bills have to be un-subsidised also, is that fair? well dont ask me! I asked my Dad about the whole matter and he said, what is the difference between what is happening now to what had happened in South Africa during the apartheid, it seems obvious that they have the opportunity to categorise the Maalysians from the non-Malaysians and you have to feel that you arent contibuting at all so why should they care for you.. beats me though! Do we care for our African brothers so much to give the right to change their nationality or do we harbor hatred for them? it all depends on individuality because I have met alot of South Africans and other Africans and they have showed me the respect and love that we Africans are suppose to show eachother, maybe the blame is on the Government then...perhaps not!

PS: Not politicking ...just trying to ramble on the things I have seen and read....tq

blogging and fasting.....

It is not easy fasting all day long.... cos its only once in a year, just for 30 days (some do it for 29 days though) and I have to wake up at the wee hours like 3.30am to cook and eat....hmm.. it aint easy but I am gonna work it out cos fasting is one of the ways for me to lose weight...heheheh dont mind me, I dunno why I wanna lose weight...to get more attractions from men that arent worth my time, or to be healthy and fit so I get into a size 6 dress...come on... dont worry me about weight loss....I think I will leave it to the models and actresses...and also...beauty queens wanna bes...!

Anywayz.. I m just here to blog and go back home and sleep....also to relax and enjoy the holiday mood but I just cant because I feel guilty about my exams... I am always anxious about the results and have a BIG phobia about failure...I hate failing , I hate not having good grades....and I hate not having a good life! lolz... well, I am anxious but I will have to wait till the end of October and see what those lecturers are gonna put on my result slip...so help me God...

Anywayz folks... have a nioce and lovely time ....peace and love

Holidayin.....chillin....freakin out....but blessed!

Hullo "dearie".....

Exams done and finished with... Naija independence day came and went with no special celebration(why will anyone wanna celebrate! I dont blame anyone sha!)...now I am feeling good and I wanna go home, have fun and sleeep till I can no longer feel sleepy... eat( haba, I dey fast I cant eat all I want!) well, watch teevee...(sometimes astro is damn boring that all they ever show is replays, wish the world cup starts today it woulda make my day!)....anywayz, I have a great family that I will be with all day long, I guess I need to find something to do but I cant, and to top it off I wont be online cos no internet connection for my place, my dad wont do it cos he knows that I am the "osama" of going online anytime anyday and if he doesnt want to get bankrupt he would not install it but I wish I could make him do it..well, thats about it...

Anyone wanna wish me a "happy bday" ::dont pls!:: cos I have made up my mind that this time around, it wil be special and solemn, but all my well-wishers and virtual friends from all over can just comment on this post and wish me but if you dont want to , just siddon and look at my blog and leave am jeje! abeg I no wan think say I be ....what am i doing...blogging in pidgin gosh.. sorry folks... I dunno what came into me, i guess its da holiday spirit.... but before I add insult to my injury, I wanna tell you all that I appreciate da love and care ....thank you! and have a wonderful day! ciao...

RAMADHAN MUBARAK!

Holiday is here...
I dunno if i care...
but I know whoever is there...
will always be my friend!

Dont worry too much my friend
"Love conquers all" they said
but no problem if I am not around
but problems arise when i am gone

So love me when I am gone
dont think bad of me anymore
till We meet again
through the connection of wires and machine
I know you wont miss me that much
cos my love for you is for real...
Te Qiero...African Soul.....
mon amie ,c'est grande!

~Fatyma~

Sun of my life!

The sun loves my skin,
thats why I dont need a sun-screen,
I love the way it caresses me
when I am walking down the corridor
trying to listen to my heart-beat .
But it still baffles,
If I can wish the sun can be more gentler on me
Because sometimes I wanna escape its fury
when it is angry
and I hide away in my room
feeling the heat slowing seeping through the walls and my windows
but it still better than being furiously stared at.
Yeah, its mighty light shining all over the world
so bright...so fine!
Shining clearly to me early in the morning to brighten up my day..
Waking up the lazy bums with a glitter of its light
Yeah... I love the sun when it loves me
We can both brighten up eachother's day
like Oprah's show , I feel alive and livin' up another day.

Peace & Love to y'all..........

~fatyma~

Oldies... but Goodies..../dilutin' that concentrated lovin'

I was just listening to some Classic Soul on Yahoo! Lauchcast music and I kept wondering why are they still sweet to my ears and I felt alive cos I have been listening to alot of Hip Hop, R N B, Rock and Adult Alternatives that I dunno which one makes me feel this way until i changed it to Classic Soul music channel and it was so damn relaxing and inspiring to listen to....I know they are full of oldies music.. those music ma folks danced to ( and my Dad still remembers .....damnnn!) are kinda cool to me... forever Tina Turner.... only God knows what she is up to... I heard a lil of Tevin Campbell, Little Anthony,War and Aretha Franklin to top it off... they may be kinda old but they are still good(good enough to be sang by American Idol contestants eg "SON OF A PREACHERMAN") and some of their lyrics make me tick and are quite fantastic! aiight enuf of that....!


~Dilutin' some of that concentrated lovin!~

How much do u love thee?
I cant count up to three.
Cos you nev'r make me tick
and whenever I feel like thinking of u
I try not to
cos it aint worth it
and my brain aint programmed for u
2-4-7 i sacrificed
but u were never satisfied
so what do you want me to do
when I cant help lovin you...
But I shoulda left ur a## a long time agoooooo................!

~teema @ her best momentz~

Yesterday's memories!

Looking back to those years
I never thought this year will be a year of sorrow for me
I never thought you will be gone just like without hearing your voice once more
without you smiling at me
I tried to remember the way you always frown at me when I am being my naughty self.
but I just cant!
I tried to figure out why God has to take you away from me
but who am I to question God?
I will always remember you in my prayers
I will always ask God to accept your beautiful soul
The way you sit down solemnly and talk to us
I shall never forget it, BABA!
I wish I could talk to you on the phone and hear you call my name once more and praying for me
but all is gone and lost
Just like a candle in the wind
You left in peace
you are so wonderful that I feel it in my heart and I just cant accept it
that You are gone
I was always talking to my mom about seeing you again when I come back home
but it was as if God had other plans
I wish I could have been a better granddaughter
but I am just who i am
and you are just my "BABA"....
I will keep those memories alive in my heart
I cant stop the pain in my heart
cos I dont wanna let go of those times you were there for me
I love you , and God loves you more...
May Allah accept your soul...amin!

~fatyma~

free myself/appreciate life itself!

I thought I couldnt hide away myself
but i realised that I was scared of myself
my low self-esteem brought me to my knees
always being coward
never thinking for a sec if this life means anything to me
until now.....

Now I can look up in the sky and smile
and feel more alive than I can never be
I thought I needed to loved before I can be happy
but I realised that I needed to be happy before i can be loved
and love is not all about being happy
but about looking forward to being with life and its bittersweet moments
Life cant be much sweeter than this if it werent for love itself
Now I realised that I was hiding behind the dark curtains of my past
until the present was forgotten completely
it is pure self-suicide
and it needed cure
but how?
I tried but I couldnt find the cure
I looked everywhere but nothing could cure my sorrow
until someone whispered to my ears
that the cure to my sorrow is within
and I shouldnt look no further
I never thought of it all
until now.................

You dont know what it feels like
to be in sorrow and no one to hold u tight
except God..
You turn to Him but sometimes the pain is just too much to bear
and clutching to the bad past makes u feel worthless
and you know you needed a break from it all but you are fighting your emotions so much and so hard that it hurts
It is really that bad
but now I appreciate what life throws at me
good or bad
its called experience
and you have to learn to live with it
whether you care about it or not
You have to wake up, shake it off and move on
atleast till another tide of sorrow comes along
You have to do all what it takes to appreciate who you are
and thats what I believe in now
I never thought about it all...
until now...........

~fatyma~

From wishes to ashes.....!

Yesterday, I fell in love
Today I am outta love
You told me so many things
you brought up the subject of us
but in the end it was the same issues
that I kept facing with love
Cant believe that you could be one of them
always playing with a girl's heart
and turnin your back when you are done with her...
It could have been me and you, baby
but I guess I have to face the real fact
that there is no love lost between us!


You called me day and night
whispering sweet nothings to my ears
saying "I love you!" now and then
but it was all pretense
your heart aint falling
it was just a game of lovin
and I was the victim baby
but its aiight...
I have learnt my bitter lesson from you
cant blame you
just angry with my heart
for being so soft on love again
I thought we were suppose to be lovers
but i dont believe in that anymore
just a fantasy for dreamers like me
to worry about
eventhough I trully loved ya
but I have to turn my back on ya
and holla at my world again
thanks for all the TLC
just my foolish affair with you gone sour
I will always remember the good times though...
although all my wishes have turned into ashes!

~teema~

coup du fondre.............../if tomorrow never comes

Looking back at the days
when I saw you standing infront of me
I thought I will never live for another day
I guess it was all in me...

If I try to close my eyes
its you I see
smiling back at me
I dont know why
but I guess it was all for me

I cant pretend that I dont care
because I really love you
and some times I feel sad when things are going wrong
thinking you might leave when you cant take it anymore
but it was me that is just being worried
and you are the one I respect for loving me
through the bad times
and the ugly times
through thick
and thin
You are always there,
holding on without blinking and freaking out...

I love you, my boo
Maybe a lil crazy
but what is love if aint hazy and dizzy
feeling like i am gonna drown
but no way, I am just gonna be lovin you
because you are worth every dime I have
and my heart flutters and tries to burst out
in exhilaration...
ahhhhhhh... I love you
thats all I wanna tell you
every now and then
without a care in the world!

~teema~

Tears dropping,
lips quivering,
eyes closed,
my insanity increased with each heartbeat i hear.

Breathing becomes difficult
Life is like a hard rock
unbreakable and unmalleable
you accept it without questioning
you cry without a cause
yet sorrow overcomes your mind
like a dark cloud that covers the sky.

Nothing seems to be okay
Pretense is the word of today
Everyone wants to be an idol
but reality pulls them back
'cos nothing in this world is perfect
and you cant torture yourself or others to satisfy everyone around you,
because people are pretentious,
some are unworthy of whatever you give them
some just need to be left alone...
so why bother, my brothers and sisters?
~aluta continua~

Warez......where u be when i needed ya most?/African woman

I have been downloading songs into my PC since last sunday through one of the new P2P software I downloaded from Download and I am actually downloading naija songs so, you may say that I am being tribalistic, but hey,different strokes for different folks!

Actually, it is FELA's songs, damn, I never thought this man, can really make my day, I mean I love Fela but I wasnt that crazy bout him cos I only thought it was "old school" so why bother myself about oldies, but I guess I was damn wrong, he is a really good singer and his lyrics do make sense up till today.... like "teacher dont teach me nonsense", its a work of art I must say, that man was talented, I guess that s why he didnt live that long to enjoy his popularity but his music and shrine shall live on... hopefully I might be able to go their one day to that famous African shrine where everything goes... except now, his son Femi Kuti has decided to ban "igbo" or "weed" from the Shrine.... hehehhe what a life.... anywayz, thanks to warez, I m gonna keep downloading all those crazy songs but alas I couldnt download Eedris Abdulkareem( he is not searchable i GUESS)! Right now I am listening to African Woman, he is praising and dissin the African women.. hmm... lemme hear him out sha.... "African woman, she go say... she go say i be lady oooo.....!" You'>http://www.felaproject.net/">You can check his personal website designed by "stayhonest", its all about this phenomenal man...

Tear drops from the heart!

Times have changed,
things have moved,
lovers are haters
enemies are friends,
strangers are lovers
but who will be my sympathiser,
cos this tears keeps on fallin
and i am down with love softly

Rain is fallin,
life is bloomin,
things are growin,
birds are chirpin
animals are lyin down
waiting for the next full moon to celebrate on
but who will hold my hands to nite?
and make me feel like a real woman
who will lie down next to me
and try to comfort me with love and care
cos I am dyin inside out
with no one to love me....

I wonder how it will be
if you were me
and i were you
maybe you will realise my feelings
and decide to act upon it
or u will just forget bout me cos you are me and not you
but if i were you and not me
i will still love you
and harbour for sweet nothings i can scrape out from you
but you are not me and i am not you
so i guess i have to live on the lil i have
till God gives me something better than this...
Just wish it were a bit faster
so i dont have to wallow in pain forever....
my teardrops are fallin inside of me
you cant see cos you dont wanna care
but it will keep on fallin
cos of the pain and sorrow you ve caused
nothing will change all that
except LOVE......

~fatima~

I will get there.....somehow.. someway!

I wonder sometimes why people try to create nonsense or nonsensical things in other people's life... Why try to be great when you know deep inside you arent.. why create and pretend to be who you are and yet you arent! It makes me wonder if this world we live in is full of pretenders, waiting for you and I to enter their lives and steal away things that we wont take for granted! I do wonder why people try to say " I love you!" when they know deep inside they dont? it is really scary for me at times to trust people cos I cant go through another heartbreak again... I have seen the bad guys , dined with the ugly guys.. the good guys? well, they never seem to exist or they always hide away so that they wont get caught up in this world's nemesis!

One thing I have realised in all of my life, I have never cheated or lied about my true feelings, never pretended to be in love when I do know I detest the person, I do believe that being trustworthy and always telling the truth count most even if 99 percent of people you have met or would meet wont be trustworthy enough.

Now, Love is not what it is meant to be... some people dont know the meaning of love talkless of reciprocating the feeling back to their loved ones, some envy you for being in love but never try to work things out in their love relationships... some... like I said earlier... are "love pretenders"... just make the other person believe that they love him/her but dump her when she wants more loving... it is a shame, to you guys out there, if you like "hitting" on girls like you try to tell your "homies" cos nothing hurts bad than being lied to ... or false interpretations of your feelings... you may have "hit-and-run"ed your way through it, but be least assured that one day, someone too will enter your life, pretend to love you and drop you off just like that! without looking back...(Alcia keys'KARMA)

I am glad for being in love and I am glad that I will always be in love... with or without anyone in my life... atleast I do know how to express my feelings!To my loved ones, thanks for accepting me for who i am and for loving me no matter what I do or say.. I love you all..

~fatyma~

J'aime...... moi beau!

Wet Days

I dream of heaven
I dream of things wonderful
I dream of peace
I dream of everything
I dream of love even when I cant hold you down to myself....
I dream of you, I dream of you my love

I care for you
I care for all things beautiful
I care for us
I care when no one else does
Oh baby, why dont you realise this?
That you are my only love
I cherish....

Things I adore
things I day-dream about
I love to hold you down
when the rain is falling down
I love to hang around your place
when you arent around
eventhough I feel blue when I am with you

Dont try to think
dont bother to cheat
I aint gonna freak out
when you love someone else
cos I know that you are mine
always....
baby, why dont you stay with me
through my wet days..........

~fatyma~

This is a lil bit slow... it cant r nb... but a slow love song you can think of in the 60s era.. when love is love and not right now... hehehe bye folks!

Poverty in the land of plenty:Africa

hmmm,

Africa... you never know this beautiful continent unless you spend your whole life there... cos this is where my heart feels free.. where I get to kiss the red earth and feel alive... and yet this is where the "freedom - fighters" alias colonial masters came to destroy our innocence, it is like robbing the bridegroom of his wife, in the name of colonisation!
Yet, I never get to watch the Live8 cos I was busy in school with my classes, but i got some snippets of the concert here and there through my mobile phone but then, I dunno what the heck the G8 members are doing, I have forgotten that they were still around until I heard about the terrorist attack in central London and that was when I realised that the G8 were still available...
People, Africa is too rich to be in debt, but are we going to stop begging for more resources when we already have enough?! Are we still trying to fill everybody's pocket with money and yet our own countrymen cant find any kobo to hold on to cos we are poor? I dont believe that we are poor cos they are using our brain, draining us and stressing us with all of their problems and yet we are still being colonised( no pun intended) on what to do? well, we need to stand up for ourselves, whether the G8 are going to help us or not, we need to satisfy ourselves with the limited resources that God gave to us and use it and not allow them to take more from us... so help me God...

Jealous of you!

~Jealous of you~

I see the way he calls you
never dropping the phone for hours long
I felt something in me
I felt that he loves you
and I know you love him too!

I stop the thoughts cos I cant
imagine you being with him
I pinch myself daily
why i going crazy over this
but I guess life goes on

I am jealous of you gal...
You seem to get him to be by your side
You are so lucky
that I feel jealous thinking of you both!

I dont know why he comes by daily to send you roses and chocolate
but I guess everyday is valentine to him
I cant believe a real man can do that
but I guess it must have been love
or it is you doing your magic on him

Why cant I have him the way you do
You seem to be in another planet from mine
and thats why I feel this pain
whenever I think of you both

I am jealous of you gal...
You seem to get him stuck on you
I dunno how you do it
but I am envious of your love for him
but I am gonna be jealous till I can
get someone like him!

~fatyma!~

My naijalicious love

You are my naijalicious love,
I love the way I feel
whenever I am around you
cos I guess you are my delicous lover...

I cant sleep sometimes,
thinking of you has become something I do daily
I harbour thoughts of you
its really crazy
thinking of my naijalicious love
how will i survive?

Ko ma ye mi mo....
tell me what to do
I need to know
cos I just need you more and more
and if I should die tomorrow
I will be a contended soul
because you satisfied my appetite
and make me feel whole and tight!

Ma fimisile ooo
cos I dont know what will happen
I might go nutz
without you in my life
and I need you so much
my sweet delicious love
cos you are my only naijalicious love

~fatima!~

hullo,


There are times in our lives when we need to have changes but we don't know how or what to do about it... I felt I needed a change but I didn't know where cos I always take things too personal in my life and people always take me for granted cos I am always being too "nice" and right now I ve decided that beign a nice gurl aint that good.. I need to breathe.. please... no more playing around and looking for pleasing peeps but roughing it out on my own and trying to stay alive in this world of chaos.... yup , and living my life the way I need it to be... kinda classic huh, well, this is how life treats you so you need to buckle up and understand that things wont come your way unless you stand up and get it yourself! just trying my luck on writing songs.. hopefully I can get by it in a good way... i dunno but I will keep on trying... hope it is nice though its a bit lame... my first try after all... its all mushy and romantic... to everyone hia... Bon appetite! hhehe


UNTITLED

There was a time in my life
when I dont know where to turn to atimes,
but I ve always try to do something about it
please, dont be angry with me
cos I am just feeling happy with myself
and I am glad that I know you baby.

Whenever I think of you
I always feel a sense of knowing you
I cant think of anything but you baby
that's why I am writing this to let you know that....

chorus~
Baby, I love you and that's all I need
cos no one else makes me feel brand new
like you do....
whenever I am with you,
I feel different maybe its because of your love
that you gave me and that's why
I cant stop loving you!

I tried to pinch myself
maybe these feelings will fade away
but no, it increases even more baby
what am I gonna do without you darling...
dont leave me, dont go away
I am not flattering you
for the sake of flirting with you
cos this is what i'm feeling

I wanna let you know something
this comes from a sore heart
a heart that has been broken many times
yet it seems alive and stronger
and I believe in your love for me ...

-*fatyma*