free myself/appreciate life itself!

I thought I couldnt hide away myself
but i realised that I was scared of myself
my low self-esteem brought me to my knees
always being coward
never thinking for a sec if this life means anything to me
until now.....

Now I can look up in the sky and smile
and feel more alive than I can never be
I thought I needed to loved before I can be happy
but I realised that I needed to be happy before i can be loved
and love is not all about being happy
but about looking forward to being with life and its bittersweet moments
Life cant be much sweeter than this if it werent for love itself
Now I realised that I was hiding behind the dark curtains of my past
until the present was forgotten completely
it is pure self-suicide
and it needed cure
but how?
I tried but I couldnt find the cure
I looked everywhere but nothing could cure my sorrow
until someone whispered to my ears
that the cure to my sorrow is within
and I shouldnt look no further
I never thought of it all
until now.................

You dont know what it feels like
to be in sorrow and no one to hold u tight
except God..
You turn to Him but sometimes the pain is just too much to bear
and clutching to the bad past makes u feel worthless
and you know you needed a break from it all but you are fighting your emotions so much and so hard that it hurts
It is really that bad
but now I appreciate what life throws at me
good or bad
its called experience
and you have to learn to live with it
whether you care about it or not
You have to wake up, shake it off and move on
atleast till another tide of sorrow comes along
You have to do all what it takes to appreciate who you are
and thats what I believe in now
I never thought about it all...
until now...........

~fatyma~

From wishes to ashes.....!

Yesterday, I fell in love
Today I am outta love
You told me so many things
you brought up the subject of us
but in the end it was the same issues
that I kept facing with love
Cant believe that you could be one of them
always playing with a girl's heart
and turnin your back when you are done with her...
It could have been me and you, baby
but I guess I have to face the real fact
that there is no love lost between us!


You called me day and night
whispering sweet nothings to my ears
saying "I love you!" now and then
but it was all pretense
your heart aint falling
it was just a game of lovin
and I was the victim baby
but its aiight...
I have learnt my bitter lesson from you
cant blame you
just angry with my heart
for being so soft on love again
I thought we were suppose to be lovers
but i dont believe in that anymore
just a fantasy for dreamers like me
to worry about
eventhough I trully loved ya
but I have to turn my back on ya
and holla at my world again
thanks for all the TLC
just my foolish affair with you gone sour
I will always remember the good times though...
although all my wishes have turned into ashes!

~teema~

coup du fondre.............../if tomorrow never comes

Looking back at the days
when I saw you standing infront of me
I thought I will never live for another day
I guess it was all in me...

If I try to close my eyes
its you I see
smiling back at me
I dont know why
but I guess it was all for me

I cant pretend that I dont care
because I really love you
and some times I feel sad when things are going wrong
thinking you might leave when you cant take it anymore
but it was me that is just being worried
and you are the one I respect for loving me
through the bad times
and the ugly times
through thick
and thin
You are always there,
holding on without blinking and freaking out...

I love you, my boo
Maybe a lil crazy
but what is love if aint hazy and dizzy
feeling like i am gonna drown
but no way, I am just gonna be lovin you
because you are worth every dime I have
and my heart flutters and tries to burst out
in exhilaration...
ahhhhhhh... I love you
thats all I wanna tell you
every now and then
without a care in the world!

~teema~

Tears dropping,
lips quivering,
eyes closed,
my insanity increased with each heartbeat i hear.

Breathing becomes difficult
Life is like a hard rock
unbreakable and unmalleable
you accept it without questioning
you cry without a cause
yet sorrow overcomes your mind
like a dark cloud that covers the sky.

Nothing seems to be okay
Pretense is the word of today
Everyone wants to be an idol
but reality pulls them back
'cos nothing in this world is perfect
and you cant torture yourself or others to satisfy everyone around you,
because people are pretentious,
some are unworthy of whatever you give them
some just need to be left alone...
so why bother, my brothers and sisters?
~aluta continua~