free myself/appreciate life itself!

I thought I couldnt hide away myself
but i realised that I was scared of myself
my low self-esteem brought me to my knees
always being coward
never thinking for a sec if this life means anything to me
until now.....

Now I can look up in the sky and smile
and feel more alive than I can never be
I thought I needed to loved before I can be happy
but I realised that I needed to be happy before i can be loved
and love is not all about being happy
but about looking forward to being with life and its bittersweet moments
Life cant be much sweeter than this if it werent for love itself
Now I realised that I was hiding behind the dark curtains of my past
until the present was forgotten completely
it is pure self-suicide
and it needed cure
but how?
I tried but I couldnt find the cure
I looked everywhere but nothing could cure my sorrow
until someone whispered to my ears
that the cure to my sorrow is within
and I shouldnt look no further
I never thought of it all
until now.................

You dont know what it feels like
to be in sorrow and no one to hold u tight
except God..
You turn to Him but sometimes the pain is just too much to bear
and clutching to the bad past makes u feel worthless
and you know you needed a break from it all but you are fighting your emotions so much and so hard that it hurts
It is really that bad
but now I appreciate what life throws at me
good or bad
its called experience
and you have to learn to live with it
whether you care about it or not
You have to wake up, shake it off and move on
atleast till another tide of sorrow comes along
You have to do all what it takes to appreciate who you are
and thats what I believe in now
I never thought about it all...
until now...........

~fatyma~